Feliz Navidad

Merry Christmas from my family to yours!! 

playing with new board games by the Christmas tree... Hedbanz in spanish was a huge hit

My boys performed, sang and danced at their school's Christmas assembly.

Ho, Ho, Ho!!! 

A Chance to Dream

Growing up in an orphanage, an orphan's birthday can come and go completely unnoticed by their biological family, their caregivers and the child.  In my 5.5 years living and working in orphanages here in Monterrey, I continue to be shocked at the number of kids who have no idea how old they are, let alone when their birthdate is. You ask them, "Hey Juan, how old are you?" and they simply respond, "I don't know."  Blows my mind every time....

A child's birthday is the day the their family and loved ones celebrate them.  Orphanage life supports all group everything - group clothes, group toys, shared soccer balls, shared shoes... everything is done in large numbers.  So the concept of stopping everything to celebrate ONE child doesn't happen all too often. But the 10 boys who live with me are practically family to me so you better believe we go all out on the calendar date of their birthday.  It's THEIR day.  The weeks leading up to their birthday - or in the case of some of my boys - the MONTHS leading up to their birthday we plan and dream and discuss what they want to do and to eat for their birthday.  Many of them change their mind 100 times before they decide on their personal birthday menu and who they are going to invite to their party.  I love the look of joy on their faces as they dream about what their party will be like.

Last year, one of my boys turned 12 and had the FIRST EVER birthday party of his entire life.  This year he turned 13 and had an awesome party with his brothers.

This year a new boy turned 11 and had his first birthday party with his 4 siblings.  He was very particular about his cake and about the flavor of the ice cream.  We bought so much food for his birthday, that we ended up celebrating his birthday 3 different times with sufficient pizza, ice cream and cake for 16 kids - 3 different times.  That's a lot of food. 

All Gustavo wanted was a Dairy Queen ice cream cake and a trip to the Back2Back property pool... easy.

Happy Birthday beautiful boys!

Photo of their soccer field

In my previous post, I said I'd post a picture of their field.  Well here it is.

On this day, it was cloudy and rained a bit but you still get the idea.

One of the teams in this picture is doing a million sit ups and push ups.  The boys were not enthused but hey - at least they are getting a good work out multiple times a week.

Participating in this league is not only giving them an opportunity to socialize with non-orphanage kids, coaches and parents but it's also challenging them and stretching their understanding of commitment, responsibility, hard work, diligence, team work, what it feels like to win and also to lose.  This has been a real struggle for many of the boys.  They do not have much experience in anything that involves a real commitment.  You can't just choose to not go to practice one day and then the next day because you just don't "feel like it" decide to not go to practice.  The boys don't have a good understanding of how being part of a team works.  About half of the boys who were initially enrolled already quit the league.

Want to help?
1.  Pray for the 12 who are still participating in the league to stick this out and to learn what it feels like to finish something they've started.
2.  Pray that God would bless the man and his family who have paid for this opportunity.  His name is Enrique.

Extravagant

It's been 2 months since I've posted on here.  Things have been intense to say the least.  In the past 2 months....

4 new boys moved into my dorm

3 boys moved out

I now have 10 boys

all my kids started school - they attend 4 different schools

we've survived through tantrums, bad reports from school, tears, the flu, a hurricane, you name it really

We celebrated Sammy's birthday, then mine, then Cesareo's and most recently Gustavo's with pizza, ice cream and a DQ ice cream cake for Gustavo because that was the desire of his heart.

My boys are flying through our chapter books so fast that it's hard to keep up with them.

And a precious local businessman here in Monterrey enrolled a bunch of the Douglas boys into the Rayados Soccer Academy.  This is a first for the 40 some odd year history of this particular orphanage.  He has paid for them to enter into a very prestigious soccer league.  They practice 4 days each week at beautiful fields and are improving a ton due to how intense their workouts are and how good the other kids are at soccer.  I pick up the boys from practice each day.  The kids in this league wear $100 cleats and $100 professional team jerseys. The other moms and dads are well... rich, pale skinned, blonde, american looking, BMW suv driving, Rayados loving parents.  And then there is little old me picking up my rather dark skinned, often poorly dressed "orphan" kids from "the orphanage" in my Ford taurus that I pack 10 boys plus myself into everyday.  (racial stigmas in current day Mexico are kind of like in the south in America like 40 years ago) I've felt self conscious picking up my herd of children around this crowd and I know my boys have too.  I've spent the past 2 months trying to figure out how much this is costing the man who is paying for everything and how my boys ended up at this academy.

Today when I arrived to pick up the boys, I saw all the moms in their heels out by the field with cameras and it looked like there was a huge team meeting going on which intimidated me for whatever reason so I shrunk back and stood maybe 30 yards away to wait for my boys.  Within a few minutes I realized that this "party" was for the kids from the orphanage.  All the parents had come out in full force to buy all the orphanage boys soccer balls, cleats, jerseys, goalie gloves, chips, gatorade and to give them used cleats (really nice ones) and clothing donations. Cesareo saw me first and immediately ran over to show me his new gear.  At first, I was honestly a little embarrassed for my boys who have tried so hard to not be known at this league as "the orphanage boys."  So to see them receiving "handouts" from people that they don't know well didn't rub me well.  But within about 10 minutes of watching these families keep pulling out really nice shoes and cleats and jerseys and more soccer balls and everything we've been trying so hard to provide for our kids so that they fit in - I literally just started crying.  Our boys have been going to practice in Converse and without soccer balls for 2 months now.  I just found out last week that every boy has to come with his own soccer ball - oops!  And that anyone who doesn't bring a ball has to run laps at the beginning of practice.  Every douglas kid was given not ONE but TWO brand new soccer balls today.

Watching them take a huge team photo with their coach literally made me cry.  All of it is just so extravagant.... one of the best teams and leagues in Monterrey and my boys get to participate and practice and despite my doubts from the beginning apparently they are going to get to play in the games too.  A year ago, participating in a real soccer league was my boys' highest and most unattainable dream but now it's a reality.  The man who has been behind the scenes fighting for this to be possible is a believer.  This is the Lord showing once again how much He loves these boys.  For once in their lives - through all the abuse and neglect and hurt and disappointment and abandonment they've experienced- they can tangibly see God's extravagant love on display in their lives in technicolor.  And it's beautiful and honestly just reckless.  We eat beans and eggs for dinner every single night but my boys get to play at this academy - INSANE!

pictures soon... the fields are beautiful and so are my boys.

Thank you to all of you who pray for me and for the boys - we need it and I'm grateful for each and every one of you.

Defying Odds

Studies have shown that the single best predictor of how a child will do academically over their 12 years of schooling is how much he/she was read to prior to their first day of first grade.  

When I heard this a few years back, I decided that I had to act in whatever way - be it small or large - that I could to read to the boys who were in my care at Casa Hogar Douglas.  If these kids are to succeed in school - someone has to read a book to them.  It's THAT SIMPLE - read to the kids!!! Someone has to read to them.

I quickly learned, it's not easy to read a bed time story to one child when there are 13 other children running around in the same room.  But all that didn't get in the way for many of my little boys.  They'd pile around the couch so they could see the pages and 10 of them would listen to a story all at once.  We'd read a bed time story in the light of the bathroom with just one or two boys and then go tuck them in.

The first child I ever read to in spanish was the child in the video above.  The first story I ever read to him is the exact same one he is reading in the video.

Hearing him read to me makes the 500 times I read this book to him totally worth it.

And would you believe that this same child received a diploma for 1st place for the highest test scores in his 1st grade class?!  Defying odds.  I pray this little man defies the odds against him for the rest of his life.

Sharing Our Lives

1 Thessalonians 2 speaks of Paul's ministry to the early believers in Thessalonica.  

"We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts.... We were not looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else... Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.... later in verse 11 he continues with, "For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory."

I feel like these verses describe so much of the desires of my heart when it comes to my 10 boys.  

I am sharing my life with these boys.  They see my good side and my frustrated side - when I'm happy and when I'm literally bawling my eyes out - we have serious times and super silly conversations .... they know if my favorite team (the Florida Gators) played horrible that week and I watch every single one of their soccer games - and they lose more frequently than they win.  We do breakfast, lunch and dinner every single day.  And it's not just because it's "my job" because honestly it isn't.  It's not necessarily in my job description to move into one of the orphanages we serve full time and live with a dorm full of boys.  There was a gap and I felt like God was saying, "fill it." (Back2back approves - don't misinterpret that)  

But over the years, God has placed this particular orphanage on my heart.  Years later, I can truly say that now this orphanage (Casa Hogar Douglas) and all those kids are now IN my heart.  I carry them wherever I go.  God's hand has been over this transition and role as a full-time caregiver for the past 12 months and I'm grateful.  I'm grateful for the blessing of children.  For the ways in which I've seen them grow not just physically but emotionally, socially, academically and spiritually.  I'm grateful when one of my boys smiles at me or waves from far away.  I'm grateful when they do something the first time I ask.  I'm grateful when they tell me that they love me.  And I'm grateful that I love being with them.  And the most beautiful part of my "job" is that my boys know that I want to be with them.  They know that I would rather spend the day with them than do anything else.  Thats love people.  And for many of my boys, I think it's the first time they've experienced anything like that.  Over the years, I've been rather immature spiritually when it comes to my understanding of how God is fathering these fatherless boys.  I've questioned where He is and what He is going to do about their situations and WHEN God is going to act on their behalf.  But every night as I tuck those boys in and kiss their little cheeks and tell them that I love them and love being with them - I realize that God is choosing right now to love those boys through me.  

Would you join me in praying that these boys feel loved, know love and recognize that their heavenly father finds them precious and important and worthy of the plans that He and He alone has for their lives?  He calls us into his kingdom and then into his glory.  Oh that we all might find that and rest there...

Target Practice

Last night I went into my room at the orphanage where I live to answer my phone.  5 minutes later I walked out into the dorm to find a full out NERF war going on.  They even filled up the water guns and took the liberty of soaking everything.  Who knew that you could mop the floor with water guns?

They laughed, they screamed, they jumped on all the furniture, they absolutely took quite a few shots at me and it went on for hours.  Some of my boys have experienced some serious trauma this week.  And the foam darts make for some great cheap therapy.  

Monterrey's Mayor gives the Keys to the city to Jesus

Last week, the Mayor of the city of Monterrey symbolically gave the keys to the city of Monterrey to Jesus.  For a link to an article in english - click here.

The Mayor, Margarita Arellanes Cervantes was quoted in the ceremony saying, "In the last few months, and I say this with humility, we have been witness to increasingly obvious change for the better in our city, and this has happened because we have opened our doors to God. While we acknowledge that human participation is key, it is clear that only the light of faith in God can drive away the darkness.

"This is why we are gathered here today, and I, Margarita Alicia Arellanes Cervantes, hand over the city of Monterrey, Nuevo Leon, to our Lord Jesus Christ, so that his kingdom of peace and benediction may be built.  I open the doors of this municipality to God as the highest authority.  I recognize that without his presence and help we cannot truly succeed."

She continued and said, "If the Lord does not watch over the city, the work of its guardianas is useless, which is why, with profound respect and reverence, I humbly ask God, with the community as my witness, to come into this city and make it his home and to live in the hearts of each of its inhabitants.  Lord Jesus Christ, welcome to Monterrey, the house that you have built for us, this is our house, Lord Jesus, Lord of Monterrey, thank you."

Talk about INCREDIBLE!! Don't you wish the mayor of your city would do that?!?

If you want to see the youtube video - it's all in spanish but here it is.

Wisdom Guided Love

When the going gets tough around here, I'm beginning to think that the smart get weak.  By that I mean, the intelligent turn to God and surrender to his leading instead of trying to toughen up within their own strengths like we are so quick to try to do when surrounded by struggle.

I recently re-listened to a message by Jedd Medefind, the president of the Christian Alliance for Orphans.  He says that "wisdom guided love" knows the worlds' brokenness and it's own brokenness and still chooses to act.  We must choose to act despite the worlds' brokenness.  Wisdom guided love flows from the gospel itself.  Because in the gospel we know that we do not have all the answers in ourselves.  We do not have to justify ourselves.  We can admit our flaws and failures.  We can admit that we are still learning.  Because we have been loved passionately by God, we can passionately love others.

I want this to be true of myself - to keep choosing to act.  This world is broken.  And ministry in a broken world can all too easily leave one feeling broken right along with everything and everyone.

Ministry these days feels like I'm walking out onto a battlefield every single hour of every single day.  You know the battlefield scenes in movies like The Patriot.... where they all line up and just get shot at from point blank range.... well that kind of sums up how my life feels right now.  If we are to smart in battle we need to be weak in ourselves, in our ideas, in our efforts - and need to be strong in the Lord - in His promises, in His strength, in His power and in His timing.

Please pray for me this week.  I need it.

Progress

Meet Arturo.  He is 10 years old and has 4 younger siblings.  He and his siblings moved into the children's home in January of this past year.  His past could break the hardest heart of stone but I won't and shouldn't share that because it's his.  But what I will share is how proud I am of him.  

In January, when he moved in with us into my dorm, he could barely read.  He is 10 years old but this is his first year in school for his entire life.  For his age, they threw him into 4th grade because that's policy in this state.  We've worked with him every single day for the past 5 months to improve his reading and basic math skills.  What started with us reading picture books to him has now grown into Arturo reading chapter books like a big boy.  

He's currently reading  the Tree House series in spanish and is on book 4.  He is thrilled that I have more than 15 books in the series in Spanish and he can't wait to read them all.  

What is happening to me?

I'm 28 years old.  I'm single. I live in Mexico.  For some insane reason, I've been here for 5 years now.  Oh and I have 9 boys.

Something - or a whole lot of that is just strange to me.  My life doesn't look like most peoples.  My typical 24 hour period looks insane even to me.  The number of plates and cereal bowls and spoons that I wash in 24 hours is out of control.  Last night for example, I put 15 children to bed.

Chaos.

Yelling.

Demands.

Tantrums.

Laughter.

Tears.

Arguments.

Discipline.

Joy.

Passion.

Calling.

I have absolutely no idea how I got here or how long I'll be here but I'm thankful.

Friday night, me and my 9 boys needed to be in 2 places at once on opposite sides of a very large city (Mexico's 3rd largest to be exact) in a peak rush hour.  Sammy thought it'd be a good idea to borrow one of the Back2Back vehicles so that we could all fit into one car.  It turned out to be a life saver.  We had to leave a government sponsored event for orphanages to drive across town to make it to our boys' soccer tournament game but hit crazy traffic and almost missed their game.

The next day I woke up convinced that I need a suburban so that all 11 of us can comfortably fit in one vehicle.  I'm talking CONVINCED.

What is happening to me?  I have no idea.

Room for One More

Mother's Day was celebrated last week.  In Mexican public schools, they go all out for just about every holiday but for Mother's Day they cancel school, they have parties for the moms, they make gifts for the moms, practice dances to perform for the moms, etc.  It's big.

Imagine being an orphan without a mom during that entire week with reminder after reminder that you aren't like everybody else.  Imagine copying the following homework assignment into your homework notebook:  "Bring in a card for your mom, 20 pesos for flowers for her, and a picture of you and your mom for tomorrow."

Granted, some of my boys, even though they live in an orphanage apart from their biological mom - have a mom.  They know what she looks likes and throughout the year they see her every now and then.  Of my 9 boys this is the case for 5 of them.  These 5 wrestle everyday with the question of WHY - Why did she leave me?  Why can't she take care of me?  Why can't I live with her?  What is wrong with me?  Is it my fault?

But 4 of my boys don't even know what their mom looks like.  Several of these moms are dead or just left the kids at birth basically.

So to put it lightly - the week of Mothers Day can be a little rough in the life of an orphan.

One of my boys has lived at this same orphanage for the past 10 years.  I am sure that he couldn't pick out his biological mom out of a line up of women.  He has no idea what she looks like.  We have no photos... no idea if she is alive.  We know nothing.  But on Mother's Day he walked up to me and said the following...

"What day is it today?  It's Mother's Day right?  Well, Happy Mother's Day Caroline.  You and Sammy are my mom because you take care of all of us- of our whole dorm."

I can't begin to try to express how difficult verbal communication is for that child but it was one of the most eloquent and clearly communicated conversations I've ever heard come out of his mouth.

Fast forward 24 hours and I'm praying at the bedside of one of my other boys' beds with him before bed.  I finished.  We said "amen," and I gave him a hug and kiss goodnight as he says, "Caroline you forgot to pray for someone else in my family.  (I always pray for their family members)  You forgot to pray for you.  And you are in my family too." 

9 months.  9 boys.  I could list a ton of things that I'm sure that they have learned in that time but the truth is - I am the one who is learning.  My boys are teaching me all about adoption - about the spirit of adoption.  They are teaching me that there is always room for one more at the table, on the couch, in the home and in my heart.  When I feel like I can't handle the details of each of their 9 complicated lives and endless list of needs and demands - they somehow remind me that there is and should be room for more.  We can love more.

A Hug

All of my boys are incredibly special.  They are special to the creator of the universe who decided to put each one of them into my care and later into the depths of my heart.

They are also trouble makers, tantrums throwers, manipulators, liars, cheaters, thieves, hurtful and down right annoying at times.

For those reasons - many people in this world like their teacher, school principal or orphanage director - would agree with me and God in saying that they are for sure "special" but not necessarily in a good way on account of their frequently "bad" or otherwise "special" behaviors.

They are not easy to love.  But I'm going to let you in on a secret that not even my special boys all fully realize....

God - the almighty, powerful and compassionate God - is absolutely, 100%, without a shadow of a doubt in love with each of them.  He is crazy about them.

One of the privileges of my past 9 months living with these boys has been to witness some of this immeasurable love that God has for these orphans.

In the Bible, God promises to love the orphan, to make them a home, to hear them, come to them, be their helper, give food and clothing to them, protect them, lift them out, to rescue them...

My boys have all been abandoned, neglected, abused, ignored, shot down, beat down, put out and tossed aside - all 9 of them - no exceptions.

But God is pursuing each of them with unrelentless love day after day.  One of my boys let me hug him this week and for the first time ever, he leaned in.  He lingered.  He almost seemed to hug me back but didn't move.

Y'all that is a mountain in this child's emotional development and God is moving that mountain right before my eyes.  Praise Him!

I have a TEENager!!!

Saturday one of my "newer" boys turned 13 which means that I now have my very first teenager.  We celebrated his birthday with his younger siblings and with our other 8 boys per his requests.  He wanted a pizza party so we happily made it happen.  

This sweet child is not allowed to enter 7th grade this year or any school for that matter due to lack of resources in the local public schools.  I've learned that if you miss multiple consecutive months of school, you have to wait until the next school year to start over.  This has become his fate.  Please pray for him - pray for his self confidence and patience.  Pray for him to remain confident in his God given abilities.  He is probably the smartest kid at Casa Hogar Douglas - he graduated from 6th grade with a 4.0 last year.  

We as believers know that his story is not over yet.  This is not the end.  The trauma of his past does not have to define him as a human being.  Pray for healing.  Pray for restoration.  Pray God to move in his life and for him to respond.  Our God is greater.  Pray for an army of warriors to rise up to fight on his behalf.  Good has to be stronger than the forces of evil around here.  Pray we out-number the bad with a whole lot of good.  Would you join us?  Fight today with some prayer.  

Welcome Summer

Here in Monterrey, the daytime highs are now officially into the 100's.  We have no air-conditioning.  It's hot.  Seriously H-O-T.  But Back2Back has a pool open on their property so Sammy and I have started bring our boys to swim on the weekends.  Joy abounds. 

If you live in the Cincinnati area or are coming on a mission trip here to Monterrey anytime soon and have access to used or new boys bathing suits - we could sure use them here at our Monterrey Back2Back site.  Boys sizes 6, 8, 10 are most needed.  Pool toys and goggles are also as good as gold around here.  Contact 513- 754 -0300 for our Mason, OH office and they can help get the suits here.  Gracias!

He still moves stones

Something that I'm learning is very important in my line of work and ministry is to find small victories and to celebrate them.  Development is challenging and has many setbacks but what is so critical is to remember how far these precious children have come and to give thanks.  So today - I give thanks to God for some incredible achievements in my boys' lives.  

Sweet Angel has honestly grown to LOVE to read.  He picks up a book and refuses to put it down.  He read every single Captain Underpants book I had in Spanish in 10 days.  And then he read the entire Stink series in a week.  And I have to praise God that this reading practice is helping to give Angel words - he is communicating verbally which is HUGE for him.

Below is one of our newer boys - Arturo.  He is currently in 4th grade and this is his first year ever in school.  He was incredibly nervous to read to me when he first moved in with us but has since become a very good little reader.  He loves the Clifford books.  I do believe that God is going to fill in a whole lot of gaps that this precious child missed out on in his childhood.  

Above are 2 of my boys who got STRAIGHT A'S this past quarter in 6th and 7th grades respectively.  They are both super smart but struggle a bit with self confidence.  Mikey could not believe that he got 1st place for best grades in his class.  He said for days, "I can't believe that I got 1st place.  I never thought I'd ever get one of the top 3 places.  I never thought I could get such good grades!"  Here's the thing though - I knew all along that he could and was thankful for the opportunity to tell him that.  I wanted to scream at him, "like HELLO!! you are sooooo smart!!"

And above is probably the best image of them all.  Sweet little Alex who is now in 1st grade read to me for the first time a few weeks ago.  I can't tell you how many thousands of times I've read books to him over the years.  And now he is reading to me!!!! That's about as beautiful as it gets folks.... beautiful. 

Be encouraged friends - God is moving and He loves these children.

Happy Valentine's Day

In Mexico, "Valentine's Day" is called "The Day of Love and Friendship."  They specifically celebrate friends and I really like that.  For the past 3 years, I have spent my Valentine's Days with the same group of boys as their caregiver.  We've celebrated much the same way over the years - Valentines and treats for them to eat.  

Valentine's Day 2011

Valentine's Day 2012

Valentine's Day 2013

As much as I love the opportunity to love of them and the opportunity to be consistent with them over the years, it literally breaks my heart into a million pieces to think of how many years these same boys have lived in an orphanage without a family.  God has a higher purpose for everything and I firmly believe that.  Please join me in praying that these boys would grow to understand the eternal love that their heavenly Father has for each of them. 

Taking my "Lost Boys" on a Hike

One of my all-time favorite movies growing up was the movie Hook.  It's a version of Peter Pan with Captain Hook and the "lost boys" who are the orphans on the island who never want to grow up.  These days, I often say that I live with 9 of those "lost boys."  You might be wondering what happened to me having just 7 kids- yeah me too.  This past week Sammy and I received 2 new boys into our dorm.  We now sit around the dinner table with 11 people.  But that's another blog post altogether...

Every weekend, Sammy and I try to reward the boys who have earned good behavior points with a field trip of some kind.  Sometimes we go to dinner, or out for ice cream or sometimes to the movies.  A week ago though, we took 6 of our boys to a beautiful state park here in Monterrey that is very, very high up into the mountains called Chipinque.  Several had never been there and a few, as we quickly found out, are afraid of heights.

First we went to the visitor center to get park maps so we could plan our hike.  At this point, the boys were incredibly confused.  Many thought that we were at some sort of zoo and kept yelling in frustration about why they hadn't seen any bears or animals yet.  The concept of going somewhere in nature just to enjoy it is extremely foreign to most 10, 11 and 12 year old boys - especially ones who grew up in a Mexican orphanage.  Eventually, we picked a trail and a destination, grabbed our backpacks and sack lunches and we set off.  

We walked and walked.  I enjoyed the cooler weather way up high in the mountains.

The boys walked along - several complaining about how long we were walking and continually asked, "are we there yet?" about a million times.  Others though - literally ran through the trails.  Several of my sweet children have ADHD and getting outside is perfect for them. 

When we finally got to our turn around point, we sat down to eat our sack lunches.  One of my boys was really confused and yelled, "are you kidding me?!?!?!  We walked all the way here ONLY to SIT down and EAT OUR LUNCH?!?!?!  We easily could have done that back at the visitor center!!!"

So yes, Sammy and I dragged 6 thug like street kids up to a state park to go on a hike.  They were confused.  It was a new experience.  It was a long drive for them even just to get there.  But we had a great time.  They got out of the orphanage and away from the TV for a few hours.  They witnessed hundreds of other people who live in their city who love these mountains, nature, and exercising for enjoyment.  

A lot of times, Sammy and I wonder if some of the things we try to expose them to is even worth it.  They protest.  They complain.  But as I'm sure many parents who have tried to share a love of nature with their kids like mine did with me - taking me from one state park to another and from national park to national park and heard me complain about how "boring" the Grand Canyon was - sorry mom and dad - understand where I'm coming from - at the end of the day or even years later - they remember how cool or beautiful of an experience it was to see God's creation in a different light.  

At bedtime, our boys often open up.  We pray with each one individually and spend a few minutes talking about their day, worries, concerns, fears, and about the future.  At bedtime on this night in particular, our "lost boys" couldn't stop telling us and thanking God in their prayers for how cool of a field trip it was.  Eventually the truth comes out.  They liked it.  

The past few days, I feel like I am doing the same thing with God.  God has placed me here in Monterrey for such a time as this.  He has given me 2 more children which now brings my bath time, homework, teeth brushing, sandwich making, and bed time tucking in count to 9.  Most of the time, especially this week, I just want to complain much like my kids often do.  The Bible says that God isn't going to give us believers more than we can handle and that He is going to work all things out for our good.  I want to live in the moment and enjoy this "hike" God has me on for the time being.  He knows and He'll work all this out for my good.  

Who runs the family?

This week, I've had the privilege of giving almost every single boy at Casa Hogar Douglas a haircut.  Apparently, the junior high was threatening to not let them enter school with their crazy mohawks and what was now rather long hair so I had to make everyone look clean cut again.  I enjoy cutting hair.  I'm learning new things each time and the boys approve of my skills.

When I begin to cut hair in the Douglas palapa, for whatever reason it usually draws a crowd.  The boys all sit around and take turns getting their hair cut and talk for hours while I cut hair.  I tend to focus on the haircut and not get involved too much in the conversations that go on around me.  After all, I have to bend over the whole time because I don't have anything but a plastic chair, $20 walmart clippers and some mighty nice $12 scissors from some beauty shop.... so I try to just focus.

But this past week, one conversation in particular forced me to stop.

One of the teenaged boys was talking to a teenaged girl and they were arguing as to who is in charge of the household - the man or the woman?

So they asked me after a while to settle it.  They yelled, "who runs the household?  Who is in charge of the house?  The man or the woman?"

I told them that it all depends and went on to explain that God created the family unit to function so that the man or husband is the head of the household and that he would love and care for his wife and kids. They were intently listening to my every word so I continued saying that when families breakdown and are dysfunctional, often times the woman or the mom has to take charge and manage everything.  Both of these sweet children come from extremely dysfunctional and broken families.  Neither of them has had the example of a father who cared for and provided for them.  I told them it's more common in Latin America for the mom to be in charge of the house because the dad isn't around or he's drunk or does drugs - these particular kids I was talking to know that reality all too well.   We see this happening all over the world - the breakdown of the family.  God created us to form families and to care for one another and men need to learn how to be men the way God created them to be - responsible, present, and attentive.

So my conclusion was that the man is supposed to be in charge but that when it's broken - the woman runs the show.  They were very satisfied with my answer and stopped arguing.

My prayer for all these kids is that they would somehow and by some miracle get to eye-witness a different type of family structure modeled for them in their lives - families where a husband is actually around, who invests in his wife and children, who protects their best interest.  Many of them have never seen such a thing.  God send us healthy families and male role models to love on these children.

Back to school....

Several weeks have passed since Christmas break for me and the boys and several things have changed.  First, they moved my dorm.  We lugged all of our stuff and their beds, mattresses, clothes, books, toys, skateboards, furniture, etc into what used to be a brightly painted purple girls dorm.  It took a week to get it painted to a very soothing green color but now it looks pretty nice.  Coming back from break and trying to get the boys into the swing and rhythm is hard enough but changing living spaces only added to the adjustment.  We are however, doing just fine.  Back to the usual - tantrums, fights, fits, defiance, and me being forced to put up with professional wrestling on the TV.

At school, the boys have struggled - that's an understatement.  The number of bad behavior reports from the principal in the past 2 weeks alone almost exceeds the past 2 months combined.  Please pray that a miracle would occur and my boys would decide that it's a good idea to at least try to respect their teachers and principal.

In more uplifting news.... the boys just keep reading, reading, reading.  They read so much that several are now getting in trouble at school for reading instead of doing math or whatever assignment is being presented.  This is a "problem" that I can put up with.  They are currently into the Big Nate series, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, professional soccer player biographies, and SpongeBob books.

Here is my sweet boy after he finished his 6th Diary of a Wimpy Kid book.  He has now read every single book that has been translated into Spanish in the series.  A year ago, I would have told you that it'd be a miracle if he finished one of these books in 6th months but he's far, far exceeded my expectations and then some.  

Above is one of the boys pretending to be grossed out by a fake moldy cheese on the floor.  In the series of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, if someone touches the piece of rotten cheese outside by their school, then they are said to have "The Cheese Touch" which is a type of cooties.  It goes on to describe that one can pass this "Cheese Touch" to someone else if they touch anyone.  We have a replica of the one in the movies and books and the boys have now taken to play tag with it.  What I just love is that the boys can relate some kind of written word in print to their everyday lives.  They make jokes about something they learned in a book.  God bless this series.  I pray they translate more into Spanish.

Please pray for patience, clear communication, and healing for the boys as they try to process past abuse and neglect.

The boys have a new soccer season starting next week and I'm excited to return to my post as resident soccer mom of a lot of kids.