Sensitivity

Several weeks ago, life and ministry here in Monterrey took me on a roller coaster (literally) at a theme park with some of my favorite boys and later in an ambulance with another one of those boys.  We were at a water park on a field trip with a visiting mission team and had an incredibly fun day.  The kids got to go on ride after ride for hours and I was able to join them.  We screamed, we laughed, we floated down the lazy river and soaked up the sun.  

When it was time to leave and get out of the water so all the kids could get changed into dry clothes for dinner, we had a little bit of trouble getting a few of the boys out of the water.  They wanted to stay a little bit longer.  In the rush and craziness of trying to explain in English to the Americans and in Spanish to all of our kids that it was time to get changed and give them directions to the bathrooms and the dinner location - Sammy told me that one of our boys was hurt and that the theme parks' first aid staff were with him.  So I ran over to see what was going on.  Laying on the concrete stairs was Gustavo surrounded by paramedic people.  He was obviously in pain and kept crying telling over and over again about how these bigger boys pushed him and he fell and hit his leg on the stairs.  

The paramedics decided that it was very important that Gustavo get an X-ray.  They kept saying over and over to me that kids can be seriously hurt and that we need to take all the necessary pre-cautions.  

I pretty much told Gustavo to be a big boy and just walk it off.  

The paramedics decided that Gustavo needed to be put on a stretcher.  Which they did.  But first they put a brace type of thing on his leg to immobilize his leg which made him scream and cry some more. They carried him off to their first aid room on a stretcher with me and Sammy following close behind.  

At this point, the paramedics wanted to know his full name, birthday, address, emergency contact phone number, his parents names, etc.  We as discretely as possible had to break the news to them that sweet Gustavo is an orphan who lives in an orphanage.  And so it began - for the next several hours Sammy and I kept signing release forms as Gustavo's legal guardian.  Moments like that really tug at your heart - you have a screaming and crying child who is obviously in physical pain combined with my own fear that he'll be embarrassed or feel like a total loser if everyone knows he's an orphan.  You know in the end - no matter what - his leg will be fine - cast or no cast - but it's his heart that concerns me.  He's been wounded enough as it is - he doesn't need more emotional scars on his heart.  So I got protective.  I normally am but especially then.   

Before myself or Sammy could figure out what was happening - we were with Gustavo in an ambulance and headed to some hospital that I had never heard of.  

The paramedic and the ambulance driver did not know what to make of Sammy and me.  Sammy was trying to be comforting to Gustavo and let him know over and over again that everything was going to be just fine.  At that point, I asked the child if it would be alright if I marked the moment with a picture. He gave his consent.  

At the hospital, we had to go through all the legal guardian questioning all over again.  I signed consent forms.  Sammy signed some more.  They eventually took some X-rays.  But they came back totally normal.  So they decided to call in a bone specialist.  The specialist wanted to check into perhaps some nerve damage that might have been done considering the fact that Gustavo was still screaming and crying anytime anyone touched his leg.  At one point, the doctor told Gustavo that his leg wasn't broken.  Once Gustavo heard that, he moved his leg.  He checked it out.  Then he started to put his shoes on as if nothing had ever happened.  About 10 minutes later, Gustavo walked out without a limp out of the emergency room to head towards the car.  Now Sammy and I were thrilled and I mean thrilled that he wasn't hurt.  I had been praying about how in the world was this fantastic swimmer going to be able to swim this summer if he had a cast on?!?! And how was I going to bathe him?!   But sure enough - there was nothing wrong with him.  He just needed the doctor to say that his leg wasn't broken.  At the same time though, we couldn't help but feel as if we had been played a bit.

But there is something that we know about this sweet child in particular - he is extremely sensitive.  It is possible and likely that he has some sensory processing issues from a lot of the behaviors he has displayed in the past.  So looking back at the entire afternoon and how it all played out - I could see how we could end up in an emergency room with a child who is not trying to lie - but completely fine.  He wasn't faking it.  He felt pain.  But he was fine. 

This past week, I feel like I've been doing the exact same thing in my walk with God.  I'm freaking out about all sorts of things.  I'm nervous.  I can't sleep.  I'm fighting battles to defend my kids as best as I can.  And I've been a total mess.  At one point, I had to lie down because I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest.  I kept telling myself, "you are way too young to have a heart attack."  I'm a planner and I want to know more or less how to plan my time but lately - everything has been so up in the air that I just couldn't handle it.  I just needed someone to tell me what I know to be true - God is in control.  I don't need to freak out about things that are not within my realm of control.  I am going to be fine.  But for a while there - I guess I wasn't sure of that.  

Debriefing ourselves later, Sammy and I just kept saying how we hoped that Gustavo felt loved and cared for.  We hoped that he felt like we would always meet his needs as best we could.  We hoped that he felt like we were listening and hearing his voice.  Abandoned children often lose their voice in a lot of ways.  All too often there aren't caring, committed adults around to listen to them when they had a bad day at school or when someone hurt their feelings or when they need help to learn a new concept. So we rejoiced at one simple fact in the midst of our frustration and feeling like we had been taken for a huge a lie - his voice was heard.  And honestly, in everything I do throughout the week including the occasional ambulance ride - that's all that really matters.

Ice Skating in July

It's summer.  It's usually over 100 degrees outside.  We have visiting mission teams available to take kids from the orphanages we serve on field trips.  On this particular day, we were told that the goal was to take the kids somewhere fun and do a lot of exercise.  So where would you take the kids?  Last week it rained a lot so we decided to go ice skating.  

First, we picked up 4 of my Douglas boys to join us on our field trip with another orphanage called Del Norte.  This meant that my boys had to go with us to the other orphanage to pick up more kids.  My boys were not thrilled about going to another orphanage - think about it - if you had been dropped off at some point in your life at an orphanage by someone like your grandma or your mom or the government and left there - you'd probably have some stress reactions about even visiting another orphanage.  That was the case with my boys.  Some were curious - they wanted to know why there were cribs in this orphanage with babies in the kitchen.  I tried to give them a tour but once they saw the trampoline - they decided my tour was over.  So they jumped for about an hour - laughing and doing flip after flip.

Angel (above) is very athletic.  Clearly.  He can do a back flip and immediately upon landing go straight into a front flip.  Imagine trying to get this particular child to sit still long enough to do his homework.

Eventually, we departed from the other orphanage and set off to go ice skating.  Most of the Del Norte kids were terrified about ice skating because I think about 95% of the kids with us had never been ice skating before.  I think my boys might have been terrified too - but they weren't verbalizing it. 

They stuck to the edge for a while.

So Sammy (left) and I (right) decided to try and help them out.  The boys on their own, fell a lot.  We slid all over the ice.  But everyone, group members, staff, Del Norte kids, our Douglas boys... everyone - could not wipe the smile off their faces.  We had so so much fun!  We pretty much dominated the ice in number but also in pure laughter. 

Guillermo (above) skated for a long long time while putting all of his weight on whoever would loan him a hand.  Most of the afternoon, that person was me. Thus, I'm still sore from this adventure and we went days ago.  

Right after taking the above picture, I fell flat on my back.  My boys will probably tell the story of when Caroline fell flat on her back for the rest of their lives.  I was fine and it made everyone laugh some more. 

On the way home, I was EXHAUSTED!  All 4 of my Douglas boys fell asleep and didn't wake up until I said the word, "popsicle" upon arrival to the Back2Back property.   Believe it or not - here in Mexico they have popsicles with chili powder in them.  My boys love them.  Mango with chili powder.  Yuck!! But my freezer is full of them.  

Math and Gameboys

Several months ago, I received a few Nintendo Gameboys as a donation to use at Casa Hogar Douglas.  I have to admit that at first, I had no idea what to do with 2 Gameboys for an orphanage that has over 70 kids.  Sammy, another Back2Back staff member, suggested that in the same way that we have the boys read chapter books in order to earn the right to play video games that we could use the Gameboys to get the boys to do extra math practice.  And so it began...

For the past 3 months that's exactly what we've been doing.  I found some ESL (English as a Second Language) Math workbooks that have instructions in Spanish but teach American number concepts and have been making photo copies for the boys each week.  For every 3 pages they complete, they earn 30 minutes on one of the Gameboys.  When their 30 minutes of game time are up, they can do more math pages to earn more time.

Many of my 3rd, 4th and 5th graders when asked the question, "what is 3 minus 2?" insist on counting on their fingers to tell me the answer.  They have absolutely no number concepts.  Addition and Subtraction are manageable if you are counting on your fingers for every question (not ideal but it's possible) but Multiplication and Division are near impossible if you have no choice but to count on your fingers.  Doing their assigned math homework with my boys is often a nightmare for me and for them - I want to rip my hair out and they cry because they have NO number concepts and are frustrated and lost.

So we started with the basics - my 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12 year olds do American 1st and 2nd grade math worksheets to try to help them better understand simple addition and subtraction.

Later we got into the idea that multiplication is about groupings of numbers and not just another set of numbers to try to memorize.

The word "Division" in spanish can easily set off several of my boys into a fit of tears just at the mention of the concept because the sad truth was - they didn't know what it means.  My sweet 5th grader said to me this past week after doing 3 very, very basic division pages that he finally understood what division meant, that he liked those pages, and the next time I make him pages - he would like more of those.  Hallelujah the heavens have opened!!! I honestly can see that they are making progress, learning and improving.

I am so so thankful for our Gameboys and the donated games.  Without them, I'm not sure I ever would have challenged the boys this way in their Math abilities.  They will do almost anything to play with them - even if it means a ton of math problems.

You wouldn't guess that my BOYS fight over who gets to play with the pink DS but they do.  Makes me laugh every time.

If you have old Gameboy, Gameboy Color, Gameboy Advance, or Gameboy DS games that you would want to donate - we can use them.  Gameboy Advance or Gameboy DS consoles that have rechargeable wall charger batteries - we can use those too. Contact the Back2Back home office for information about getting them down here to Monterrey at 513.754.0300

Sharing Life

I've got a confession to make... I really, really LOVE spending time with my boys.  It's not just a job to me - it's more of a passion, a calling, a desire.  I have my good and bad days for sure and so do they but the truth is - I LOVE being around my boys.  I am thankful that I get to tell them that all the time.  There are so many days when I watch my boys do something for the first time or when we celebrate their birthdays or other major life events that I can't help but think, "their mom should be here for this.  She's missing it."  Playing the role of stand-in mom is an honor.  It's an honor I'm thankful that these boys sometimes tag me with.  Our Back2Back staff get invited to the kids' school plays, graduations, birthday parties, parent teacher meetings - you name it - because their parents simply aren't around.

I am so thankful that God has called me to this place and to these specific boys.  

I'm thankful for the opportunity to make a huge deal out of their individual birthdays.  I'm thankful for their Back2Back Child Sponsors who join in on those celebrations.

I'm thankful for the opportunity to play with them before bed and to joke about any and everything.

I'm thankful for the opportunity to be their "guest of honor" at their school assemblies like the one pictured above.  Miguel is in the front row on the far left singing the song "Head, shoulders, Knees and Toes" in english with his English class.  He thought the song was stupid and wasn't planning on participating in the school assembly until he found out that me and Sammy knew the song and had sung it when we were little.

Jonathan, Miguel, Victor, Cesareo, Guillermo, Gustavo, Angel, Alex, Kevin, Tonio, Emi, Alexis, Jahir and Luis - I love sharing my life with you.  Thank you for sharing yours with me.

Beating the Heat

It feels like summer arrived here in Monterrey months and months ago.  The average temperature here in May, June, and July is between 95 and 105 degrees.  I might be from Florida and you'd think I'd be used to the heat but honestly, when it's hot here - it's really, really hot.  I spend most of my days sweating from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed in the orphanage closest to the Back2Back property called Casa Hogar Douglas.  Mexican orphanages - especially that one - don't have air conditioning.  In attempts to beat the heat - I bring my boys swimming at Back2Back as often as possible.  

Many of the boys didn't actually know how to swim so Sammy gave a bunch of them swimming lessons every time we came to the pool and now most of our boys can hold their own in the deep end.  But the crazy thing is - whether a kid can swim or not - they still just jump in the pool.  Talk about a life guarding nightmare.  They keep you on your toes - that's for sure.

Casa Hogar Douglas Baptisms

14 of the older children who call Casa Hogar Douglas home were baptized last night in one of the Back2Back pools along with one caregiver and 3 neighbors by the pastor of the Douglas church - Javier.  Deyanira, Rubi, Bety, Alondra, Roberto, Tonio, Fabian, Luis, Alexis, Kevin, Daniel, Magali, Lolita, and Ramon were baptized in front of about 200 witnesses. 

 Above is Roberto who is the oldest of 4.  When he grows up, he says that he wants to be a pastor so he can tell everyone about Christ.  Witnessing his baptism was probably one of the greatest joys of my life.  Roberto, God has bigs plans for you.

In the above photo is Fabian who I believe has a smile on his face 24 hours out of the day.  

Above is Alexis who has lived at Douglas since he was about 4 feet tall so Javier joked about how huge he is now.  

The woman pictured above is the caregiver for the youngest girls dorm at Douglas and also the mother of 3 children who have called Douglas home for the past 5 years.  God reunited her with her children recently and she wanted to make a public affirmation of faith last night.

Almost all of those baptized had taken classes for the past few weeks on the meaning of baptism and had decided that they were individually ready to take this step of faith.  God really showed off last night.

Every child from Douglas came to watch those who wanted to be baptized.  God promises to hear us when we cry out to Him and He says that those who are led by the Holy Spirit are adopted spiritually as his sons and daughters to receive Christ's inheritance. Anyone choosing to accept God as their father is incredible but witnessing earthly orphans recognize their heavenly Father is about as beautiful as it gets.

Greater things are yet to come.  God bring your Holy Spirit to Casa Hogar Douglas.  Reign in that place.  Bring your light.  Bring your truth.  Bring your justice.  Bring your hope Jesus.  We invite you.  We need you.  Thank you Jesus for taking our place on the cross.  Thank you God for adopting us.