The Most Beautiful Valentine's Day of my Life

I'm unashamed to admit that last Monday night - Valentine's Day was the absolute best and most beautiful Valentine's Day of my entire life. Yes mom - I'm still single. Don't go jumping to conclusions. And no Grandma - I'm not dating Tim Tebow. Anyways...

Valentine's Day was my day with the "Primario Boys Dorm" at Casa Hogar Douglas. I was thrilled that I was scheduled to work for one of the dorms on Valentine's Day so that those workers - newlyweds at that - could enjoy a relaxing Valentine's Day off while I took care of their 10 boys for the day. My boys were incredibly sweet to me on this day. I made them all homemade Valentines and gave them each their own bag of candy and toys. They were so appreciative and kept saying, "Thank you Caroline. I just love you." Considering that I pretty much NEVER give them candy - I prefer toothbrushes, toothpaste, sugarless gum, fresh fruit and children's vitamins - this was a bit of a treat.

The entire day was rather uneventful until dinner. An american team serving with Back2Back for the week was grilling dinner for the children's home and I was thrilled because if I had to be stuck at Douglas all day on Valentine's Day - at least someone could grill me a mexican hot dog. It was a huge improvement from the plate of refried beans I'm often served for dinner on Monday nights so I enjoyed it very much.

As the American team was cleaning and packing up to leave for the night, Jim Betscher a fellow staff member with B2B got up and explained to the group that for the next 7 days - ALL the kids and workers from douglas were going to do a prayer walk to pray over all the different areas and dorms every night after dinner and that they were start tonight and on the 7th day - they'd do the prayer walk 7 times. I was so shocked and taken a back by this that I literally got teary eyed in the palapa that very second. You see, a year or so ago - me and Jim used to joke and just throw out what we thought were ridiculous prayer requests and dreams for what Casa Hogar Douglas would be like some day. Over the past 2 years, I have seen first hand every day the power of prayer displayed at that children's home. I've seen God break down barriers and remove people and bring new people in and resources to literally change everything about that home. I know that nothing will change that home for the better without prayer. We've been dreaming that those children would come to know the Lord as their savior and that they'd grow up to be worshippers of God and to know his power in their lives. We've prayed that Douglas would be a place of true worship - a place where the kids cry out to their heavenly father.

So he announces this and then I'm supposed to round up all my kids and go up on top of the hill to the chapel as we began to pray with the kids. I'm still fighting tears at this point. We walked around and the kids laid hands on every building on the property for the next hour. We prayed over every dorm and it's workers individually and prayed scripture over their business out front, the church, the office, the dining hall - everything. Baby David fell asleep in my arms about half way through. The kids were repeating God's promises and scripture after Javier, they were praying and laying their hands on the buildings and dorms and I was just crying and in total shock. Because this is how it starts. This is how real change comes about. It was without a doubt the most beautiful thing I have seen/witnessed in my entire 2.5 years here in Mexico.

About 2/3rds the way through the prayer walk on that first night, Jim and I just started laughing as he said, "Can't you just feel the ground shaking? The kids are praying and the ground is just shaking. All the bad guys are freaking out - they are trembling. The enemy is being defeated."

That's right - the enemy has been defeated. Death couldn't hold Jesus down. As believers, we know how this thing ends. We know who gets the victory on the final showdown. And when we band together and pray for God's victory, justice, light, truth and righteousness - God will deliver. He will come through.

Bible says that we don't have because we don't ask in prayer (James 4:2) and that if we will humble ourselves and pray to God that He will come down from heaven and just heal our land (2 Chron 7:14). I have never been more convinced or just giddy over the weapon that confident prayer is for anyone trying to follow after Christ - the kind of prayer were you just declare what's right and good and true and are CONFIDENT that God will answer.

on a side note - I asked each of the boys jokingly if any of them wanted to be my Valentine. A few thought about it and I said, "are you sure? because if you say yes than that means that we have to get married." And their faces were priceless - the look of - no way caroline! you're nuts! Jose told me, "no way! My mom said I can't have a girlfriend." Jose is 6 years old. Hilarious. Fernando agreed far too enthusiastically to be counted as normal. I clarified and said, "fernando are you sure? Do you know what that means? it means we have to get married when you are older." And he jumped up and down and threw his hands up in the air and yelled, "That's what I've ALWAYS wanted!!!" You gotta love that kid.

Kappa Sigma Douglas

Sometimes I feel like I'm the house mom for some kind of fraternity house for little boys when I'm supervising the kids at Casa Hogar Douglas. It's a strange brotherhood they have. They are loyal only to siblings and to those boys who live in their particular dorm. Sometimes the primario dorm tries to steal stuff from the pricipiantes dorm and vice versa. If a boy from a different dorm tries to sit on the couch and watch tv inside the dorm that is not his own - the other boys yell at him and tell him that he has to leave. If a girl enters, they all yell and tell her to leave immediately <-- not fitting for college boys but after all - they are little boys. Girls are not allowed according to these little rascals.

For Israel's 8th birthday - I let the boys play monster truck racing on my N64 for the first time ever. Israel made it very clear that this was perhaps the best day of his life.

All the rest of the boys piled around the tv to take turns racing in 2 player mode. I giggled at how entertained they were and immediately thought to myself, "what a strange fraternity house this is."

At times, they turn the bathroom into a roller skating rink. And parade around like they are the kings or superheros of the world.

They ride bikes inside.

They go for joy rides.

And then there are the themed costume parties - like the village people party that I laughed at last week...

yes - YMCA anyone?

go ahead - show them your best stud face Oziel

"Reach for the sky!!!" -- says Alex doing his best Woody impression after breakfast

how I love and adore each of them...

8 Words

I'm thrilled to say that the 2nd graders are making some serious progress academically. We work 5 days each week for about 2 to 3 hours each day on homework, reading, math flash cards and other learning games. They still think that my extra practice is like "fun games" and they beg to play them.

Honestly, most days I look at what their teacher asked them to do for homework and then I yell out loud in english about how this is simply punishment for ME because their teacher expects me to fight with them for hours as if I'm plucking teeth to do some of these seemingly pointless assignments. If I'm getting discouraged, clearly they are too.

Jose playing a number "game"

BUT - after 4 weeks, I'm seeing improvements. And yesterday's about knocked me out of my chair.

Mark down the date people - Tuesday Feb. 8, 2011 - FERNANDO READ 8 WORDS to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 8 words!! HE IS READING!!! In addition to that, he's really good at math. Last week, after finishing his math homework he yelled really loudly at Betty, "Betty!!! I'm smart!!!!" just in case she had her doubts. At that, both Betty and I died with laughter and joy all on the inside and reassured him that we have known all along that he is smart. I tell him that he is smart after just about each and every math problem he does. His confidence is building substantially.

Fernando actually doing some homework

Isai can now do basic addition and at times - basic subtraction.

At the beginning of January, Israel could read about 20 words per minute and now he's reading over 80 words per minute.

All of them have learned to do 2 digit addition and subtraction and know how to carry and borrow numbers.

Isai actually knows the numbers 1 - 100 now and can recognize most of the letters of the alphabet.

It's a start. It's progress. It's encouraging.

Below are photos from the Happy Meals we treated the kids to from McDonalds to celebrate how hard they have been working on their homework.

My heart was very happy on this day of Happy Meals because it felt sooo normal to take my 7 kids to McDonalds on a Friday night and then eat ice cream cones. They were just like all the other kids at McDonalds. I however am not anything like the other dolled up MOMS at McDonalds. But whatever - I was thrilled and thankful for the opportunity to let them be like other "normal" kids.

Fear of abandonment

A few nights ago I was putting the 9 youngest boys from Douglas into their beds for bedtime. These days, I have this privilege once or twice each week with these particular boys. The routine sounds rather simple I think. We bathe after dinner, brush our teeth, watch a movie, read books and play with legos until it's time for bed. I give them a 5 minute warning. We clean up the toys. They get in their beds. They pray about their day. And they are supposed to then try to sleep. It's hard for anyone I imagine to get a large group of little boys to lay down in their beds, stay there, stop playing and jumping, stop talking, and actually close their eyes.

One little boy in particular ALWAYS refuses to get into his bed. After I chase him into his bed, he usually starts yelling very loudly or chanting the same word over and over again. He often yells, "I can't sleep! I can't sleep!!" Unfortunately, his outbursts had just become part of the bedtime routine in my mind. So this past week, I decided to just talk to him, sit with him and literally hold his hand until he falls asleep.

The conversation we had rocked me. His older brother said something to the effect of, "We (he and his brothers) are going to live in this casa hogar until we graduate from 6th grade. After that we will leave the children's home to live with our mom again." <-- obviously something his mother has told him when he asks her how long he has to live in an orphanage. His younger brother, the one who has trouble sleeping, starts yelling and crying about how he is never going to make it that far in school and that because he can't finish that many years of school, that his mom and his brothers are going to abandon him and leave him at the children's home all by himself. Then he starts yelling about how he is scared, it's too dark, things are going to attack him in the night and that he is afraid and that because of that - he will not sleep ever. Instead of saying something like, "close your eyes and please be quiet and stop talking," which I have to say a lot to these talkative kids at bedtime... I sat with him until he fell asleep. I always sit with the 3 and 4 year olds until they are sleep but rarely do I focus in on one of the older boys at bedtime. I felt guilty of ignoring his outbursts and devoting my attention to his younger brothers. I spent a few minutes talking with him about how God is going to protect him while he sleeps and about the workers that live next to his dorm and how they won't let anyone come in and attack him. We talked about how his brothers - his sibling set - will never be separated.

Eventually he fell asleep. It often takes a solid hour after the first time I say, "ok it's time to get into your beds." and turn out out the lights for all of them to fall sleep. I'm not sure it would take that long if they felt more secure, more loved and less abandoned. He honestly fears that his older brother is going to walk away from him like his parents have. Because of this fear, he insists on sleeping in the same twin size bed as his older brother just so he can be sure he doesn't walk off in the middle of the night and leave him.

Every single night at bedtime, the boys want to rehearse back to themselves why I am going to say goodnight and then go back to my apartment at Back2Back. They make beautiful and yet heart breaking requests as they beg me and try to entice me to just stay with them for the night. They all yell, "Caroline I love you. Please don't leave me. You can sleep in that bed right there. See it. It's empty. You don't have to leave. See? Yes?"

That very same day was the birthday of one of my boys. His mom couldn't come celebrate with him. But she called the office phone to wish him happy birthday before she went to work the 12 hour night shift at the factory where she works.

Driving away that night, I cried rather violently as I sometimes do when I leave and just prayed for God to heal their sweet little broken hearts and the scars from abandonment.