As Proud As Can Be

Fewer things in life have made me as proud of anything or anyone as the number of chapter books my 4th graders have been flying through in these past few months.

Today I decided to show each boy how many books he had personally read and finished since January.  Each boy was SO proud of himself when he saw what he had accomplished.  They kept asking me to pull the whole pile back out so they could see how high their stack went. 

Each boy has drastically improved his reading skills this school year from simply reading out loud at least 5 days each week for at least 15 minutes a day.  I'm so proud of them.  I am also honestly a little shocked at how much they manage to get into their books.  They laugh, they read with expression, they ask to keep reading after the required time is over.

Sweet Angel finished the 2nd book in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series just about a week ago and as I had promised, the very next day I drove all over the city of Monterrey until I found the 2nd movie on DVD.  We had our 2nd Diary of a Wimpy Kid party.  And go ahead and call this another commercial or endorsement for those books but the 2nd movie is absolutely hilarious and I think better than the first movie.  Angel asked me to investigate online with the 3rd movie will come out because he's determined to finish another book in the series.  Right now, we are on page 45 and the 3rd movie will be released in August.  I think we'll finish before then. ;o)

These boys have taught me so much about which books and which series' are funny or interesting or worth buying and which ones just aren't.  Thank you to everyone who has ever donated money or books to the Casa Hogar Douglas library.  These boys appreciate you and so do I. 

Bed time Prayers

The following is a "guest blog post" by my dear friend and former Back2Back intern Meg Weaver who helped me tuck some Douglas boys into bed this past Mother's Day. 


   I love being in Mexico. Probably the thing I love most about being here is spending time with the boys that my friends Caroline and Sammy take care of on a regular basis. Part of this includes putting the boys to bed. Each time they do this, Caroline and Sammy make sure each boy has bathed and brushed their teeth and then the boys get into bed. The best part of their nighttime routine is that either Sammy or Caroline tucks each boy in and prays with them. This has become something the kids really look forward to, and it’s hard not to love it; it’s an opportunity to speak truth into and over their sweet lives and the lives of their families. Over the past couple years I have witnessed and played small roles in this routine: helping the kids pick out their pajamas, making sure the right blankets are on the right beds or reading a bedtime story.

    I believe that bedtime should be a predictable time for kids so I’ve never assumed it was my role to be a super important part of their routine since, unfortunately, I am not a constant in their lives.

   Last night, however, one sweet child asked me to tuck him in and pray with him. I was honored and immediately went to his bedside. I speak enough Spanish to get through a typical day, but during my prayer, I was struggling to find some of the words I was looking for. Picking up on my struggle, the precious child put his hand on my arm, looked up at me with his big brown eyes and said, “It’s okay, you can pray in English…it’s the same God.”

   I was blown away. I think I responded something along the lines of, “that’s exactly right, buddy” but in my mind I was thinking, “he gets it.” I truly believe that this boy is not praying every night because it’s routine, he’s praying because he believes that the God of the universe is listening, regardless of what language the prayer happens to be in. I am grateful for this opportunity to witness the faith of a child and I’m grateful for the reminder that our prayers don’t need to be eloquent to be heard—it’s the same God.

Resolve

The past several months here have come and gone in much the same way that I feel so many of my months here have.  At first glance, life seems to have it's predictable routines, schedules, norms, and nothing much is out of the ordinary.  But when I take a step back from my daily grind (which I'm not very good at and does not come naturally to me), is when I'm able to see something else starting to take shape around me.

God daily is building a pretty incredible testimony all around me of who He is and what He is about and about how He moves.  In my own weakness, doubts, fears, insecurities, mistakes, lack of faith and trust in what is going to happen next, God doesn't change or give up or lose hope.  Going to an orphanage everyday in attempts to make things better, extend mercy and grace to demanding orphans and the demanding caregivers who are supposed to be showing these same kids of the love of Christ round the clock is exhausting - both physically and spiritually.  It's far too easy to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and hopeless when I look to how I by myself can even begin to think I might be able to meet any of the needs of the children we serve.  But the truth is, by myself I've got very, very little to offer these desperate children.  My energy, grace, patience, and wisdom runs out really quickly when surrounded by the number of kids God keeps putting within 10 feet of me for hours and hours on end. Caroline honestly has nothing to offer at the end of the day - actually I often have nothing lovely to offer at 6 am either when I'm supposed to be waking them up and getting these precious little guys dressed for school. If you haven't grasped my point yet - I'll say it again... I cannot meet the obvious needs that are 2 feet in front of me everyday by myself.

The needs of these children are huge.  Their wounds are deep.

So what do we do?  What do I do?  Honestly, I think most days I get scared and just run from whatever is in front of me.  I hide.  Isn't that what we do when someone asks us to help them?  Don't we usually just convince ourselves that someone else will take care of it and that it's not our responsibility? Or I figure out what I can do on my own and just run myself into the ground trying to meet unlimited needs with my limited energies, time and resources.

Isaiah 58 says that if we "spend ourselves on behalf of the hungry and meet the needs of the oppressed" then "our light will rise in the darkness."  A few verses before that he says that after we loose the chains of injustice, set the oppressed free, share our food with the hungry, provide the poor wanderer with shelter, clothe the naked... that then when we call out to the Lord, He says that it is then that He will answer and say, "Here I am."


I've got 2 choices:
1.   Love and serve out of my own strength till it runs out
2.   Call out to the Lord and beg Him to use me, fill me, and serve through me

These choices might seem really similar but it's a trap I think people in my line of work can all too often fall through without realizing it.

In this fight, God is right there.  It's His fight.  It's not my fight. When I submit to where God is already leading, what God is already saying, the ways that He moves forward, I realize that He never gives up, He never quits, He never gives up on any child, nothing is too great for God to heal, no need is too huge for God to meet - He wins every single time.

I know that I personally have the tendency to want to fix things on my own, within my own abilities, resources and strengths.  It is then that I fail, give up before it's over, and lose hope.

God's love never fails, runs out or gives up.  I need THAT flowing through me because this is one HUGE fight.

God thank you for placing me in the middle of something too big for me to conquer alone.  Thank you for humbling me so that I have no choice but to rely on you if I ever want to see anything get done.  Thank you for your grace when I screw up.  I praise you for creating me with a relentless spirit.  Thank you Jesus for renewing my resolve by giving me a glimpse of yours.  Let us not grow weary in doing good.