Friday, July 29, 2011

Fernando

What can I say about the child who literally changed EVERYTHING for me? Fernando has been a game changer for me in the way I try to minister to the kids in the children's homes we serve in Monterrey. Through various events, Fernando is honestly the reason that I ended up moving into Douglas last summer. He is the most difficult child I've ever had to care for and also the sweetest. Because of some of Fernando's special needs, I've researched a ton about early child development, learning disabilities and a whole host of other issues that kids living in children's homes are up against. He was the spark for me that really set me on fire here in Monterrey. To say that I love Fernando is an understatement if there ever was one.

this is fernando's "casita" or tent - clearly very proud of it

In the past year, Fernando has changed SO MUCH! God loves this child so much and I was privileged to witness some of these incredible developmental changes this year. For starters, Fernando understood this year that he is loved, appreciated, beautiful, and smart. He started to feel secure and safe and his behavior changed drastically as he was much more calm, restrained, and cooperative. He learned that I would never turn down a request for a hug, to sit on my lap, for me to hold him, pick him up - yes he's 8 years old but he needs it sometimes - I would never embarrass him. He felt secure. This year was the first year that Fernando has ever done his homework everyday. I will never forget the afternoon in the Douglas dining hall when Fernando was so excited to do his math homework and to play some practice reading games with me that he just yelled at the top of his lungs to Betty, "Betty, I'M SMART!!!" For those of you who have never met Fernando, he has some special needs. For him to do homework, behave and actually make some academic progress is huge. For him to know that he is smart and not stupid and to exude confidence is beautiful. What I found incredible during homework time about Fernando is that his mind is like a human calculator. Math is his language.

In what is honestly only an act of God himself, Fernando's biological mom became very active in his life this year. Fernando has been at Douglas since he was in diapers - about 1 year old when the government removed him from his home and placed in at Douglas. He lived in Douglas for 7 years! Many of Fernando's "issues" have resulted from his abandonment, abuse, neglect and lack of affection and attention over the years. About a year ago, I got really fired up about the possibility of ANY of these boys being restored to their biological families. But in my heart and mind, I placed Fernando on the bottom of the list of who might be likely to have improved relations with his family enough to actually leave the orphanage. Just a few months ago, God absolutely shocked and surprised me when I found out that Fernando was going to go home to live with his mom after all these years. God is moving my "faith mountains" - that which I thought previously to be impossible - right before my eyes. Fernando going home is a complete act of God.

This past Valentine's Day, Fernando was the only boy who when I asked if he wanted to be my valentine even if it meant when he got older he'd have to marry me who said not only, "yes!" but then followed his yes by throwing his arms in the air and screaming, "that's what I've always wanted!!!" He made me laugh really really hard. I'm confident though, that these past 7 years - pretty much his entire life - the only thing Fernando has ever wanted was to go home and live with his mom. And he got it.

The day before I was told they were to leave the children's home, I decided to try to find photos of their childhood. I had been told that Fernando had lived at Douglas since he was like 12 months old and in diapers. I pulled down every single photo album that Back2Back has from some 15 years of ministry and after 5 hours or so found exactly what I was looking for. In the process though, I laughed at silly pictures of kids that I know when they were much younger. I cried. Some people think that when you get to heaven, you'll get to watch your life or everything that's happened throughout history like on some TV screen as if it's a movie. Going through that many years of ministry to orphan children here in Monterrey was one of the most emotionally moving experiences of my entire 3 years here with B2B. I saw families who have come down here for YEARS just loving on the same kids over and over again. It was for me as if I was watching in retrospect everything God has done in the past 15 years to pursue the orphan child. I couldn't hold back my tears and thankfulness and awe of how big God is. It was truly incredible. At times, I got angry as I found pictures as proof of how many years and years some of the teens I know have been orphans and lived in institutions. When I finally found pictures of Fernando and Adrian as toddlers, I lost it. I was thrilled because now I could give them photos of their childhood but enraged of how long they'd suffered without their parents. But mission accomplished, I was able to give both boys pictures of every year they'd spent in the orphanage. They laughed hysterically looking at photos of themselves as babies. They could hardly believe it.
probably about 15 months or so in this photo

eric - when was this?

eating some pollo loco at maybe 2 years old?


with one of his favorite pals

I was truly blessed to be able to see Fernando and his brother get picked up by their mom for the final time. On that afternoon, everything was right in the world as they literally sprinted to their mom's car to leave. They were thrilled, overjoyed, and relieved. I sent them off with all the things they had asked me to hold on to for them - gifts and photos from their Shelter Sponsor family. They waved as they drove off down the highway, not as orphan kids from the orphanage but as 2 boys with their mom. It was perhaps one of the most beautiful scenes I have ever witnessed.

Fernando, Fer, buddy I love you with my entire heart. You are a beautiful, beautiful boy. God made you perfectly. Thank you for billions of hugs and the million some times you yelled in my face, "I don't love you! Just kidding.... I do love you!!! You are like the energizer bunny and you never, ever slow down. I couldn't help but giggle the day you lost your first tooth and got scared because you didn't know that teeth came out like that. Nothing will be the same without you. But I know that you are currently exactly where you were meant to be - with your mom. You've blessed me and changed me more than you'll ever know.

Friday, July 22, 2011

David

Just to recap incase you are joining us “late” – I’m posting about each of the 14 boys who I lived with last summer and giving praise where praise is due for everything God has done in the past year on behalf of my little men. David is the 13th post in this "series" that I started in June. After David, I have one more post to go – but the thought of posting this last one literally brings me to tears so I’m taking my sweet time getting there… soon.

David has got to be one of the most beautiful little boys that I have ever seen – period. When that child smiles, the sparkle in his eye could light up the room. Even when I’m mad at him for something, that boy’s smile can change everything. I think he knows that and is starting to use it to gain favor but for now, I’m okay with that. He is in every way – BOY. He loves cars, punching things, wrestling, throwing himself on the ground, jumping, riding his bike, looking for bugs, hiding from me, swimming, pretending to swim on the shower floor if he can manage to stop up the drain enough to make a 1 inch “pool.” He also likes puzzles but he insists that I tell him where to put each piece.

He has 3 names:

1. 1. David

2. 2. Pollo Yon – b/c he looks like the fat bellied chicken for some fast food place here in Mexico. Every child at Douglas refers to him as “pollo.” If the kid knew how to write, I’m pretty sure that’s what he’d put on his papers in the space that says “Name: _______________”

3. 3. The Beautiful One – I gave him that one

He is the youngest boy at Douglas and also the smallest. He is so tiny for a child who is going to turn 4 years old in September that you naturally just want to pick him up and hold him. That’s how he prefers it so things seem to work out nicely for him. When you don’t feel like picking him up, he throws himself on the ground and throws a fit until you do. I spent almost every waking minute with him on my hip last summer. Try hanging the wet laundry for 75 kids on clothes lines outside with a 3 year old clinging to you. Well… I’d usually just make him sit right next to the trash can full of laundry while I got to work on it – he’d be screaming or crying or trying his best to protest that I was focusing on something else.

This past year, God gave David caregivers who love him and have welcomed him into their family within the children’s home. He has been attaching to these caregivers all year. I’m now more like David’s “aunt” and I love that. I can’t tell you how many times I have prayed in the last 2 years for God to send people who would love these boys like I would – and he answered. I am so grateful – you have no idea. God is not going to leave them or forsake them. Your prayers are so important. Keep them coming. I know He is listening. The same power that raised Christ from the dead lives in us – exercise some of that power this week will you? Say a prayer for the orphan child today.

David almost doubled in size, started pre-school, can count to 3 now - for a while it was just, "one... THREE!!!" the 2 didn't exist yet. He was potty trained and started talking. He went from saying literally just a few words to full blown paragraphs. He doesn't conjugate his verbs correctly all the time and he talks with a really deep and loud voice to make sure you hear him.

David you bring JOY into my life. You are too little to know it yet but when you throw fits and refuse to go to sleep, I often pray you to sleep in my arms. I ask God to form you into a leader of men who will preach God’s word with boldness. I pray that God fills the voids and scars in your heart from your abandonment with the only thing that can truly satisfy – himself - his Spirit.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Oziel

I've heard people say that they had no idea how much they could love someone until they laid eyes or held their newborn child for the first time and that in that moment - they instantly fall more in love than they ever thought possible. Well with Oziel it wasn't instant - in fact for the first few weeks that I was this child's "temporary momma," he smelled so bad that during bath-time you needed no warning that he was coming through because he would stink up the entire bathroom area. I have never encountered any child who was as stinky as he was. One of his favorite activities is to collect bugs and his process of doing so leaves him smelling absolutely horrid. So no, I didn't fall in love with him instantly. But within a few weeks, I could literally feel something in me changing - my heart just melting around him - putting him to bed, waking him up. After the weeks became months - I realized that my heart physically hurt at the sight of him because I just love him so much. I had NO idea that you could love someone that much until it happened to me. I'm assuming this is what parents feel like with their kids? Newsflash - just to clarify - I'm not a parent. But ever since little stinky, nose-picking Oziel stole my heart - I've felt in every way like one.
I hope and pray that this is what adoption feels like - the way I feel about this sweet little man. Maybe it's not instant for everyone but within a matter of time, they just feel like they are yours.

In the past year, Oziel has physically grown a TON. He went from 2T to 3T and then to 4T all in 12 months. He doesn't nap anymore in the afternoons. This past year was his first year in pre-school. He has learned to count to 15 in spanish and english. He knows his colors and is learning some letters. His handwriting isn't necessarily one of his strengths but he is a wizard with puzzles. I accredit the love of reading that many of the young Douglas boys now share to Oziel. Oziel fell in love with hearing stories one night before bed while listening to Brown Bear, Brown Bear What do you see? He asked me to read it again and again which I did but only 3 times in total that first night and then I made him go to bed. But after that, hearing a story became his favorite activity. He has figured out that adults know how to read, so he grabs books, brings them to you, and begs you to read it to him - doesn't matter who you are. If you are an adult, Oziel can work with you.

reading the book that started it all

A year ago, he responded to the name, "feo" or "ugly." All the kids would call him that and some workers who have since been fired used to call him that. It was literally his first name to all the major people in his daily life. When I moved in to be his caregiver, I decided that his new name would be, "Senor Guapo" or "Mr. Handsome." I'll never forget the afternoon that he stopped to look at me as we were walking back from lunch and said while smiling and pointing to his face, "Caroline, you call me that because I'm just so beautiful right?" He understood that he wasn't ugly. The rest of the kids understood that I thought he was beautiful and that messing with Caroline or saying anything she doesn't like is not a good idea and thus, the rest of the children's home decided that he was beautiful. After a few weeks, I never heard anyone call him "feo" ever again. Touchdown: Caroline.

Oziel loves Scooby Doo, stickers, frogs, bugs of all kinds, the Hulk, his bike, watermelon, bubble gum, puzzles, GATORS that are on tons of my t-shirts, stories of all kinds, going to the grocery store with me, trains, PJ's and snuggling. He is super affectionate and loves to press his face into yours just to make sure you are paying attention.

he asked me to put on a Scooby Doo movie, I said yes and this was his response.
If only other children were as easy to thrill as you Oziel

He also used to be THE bully out of all the pre-school aged children at Douglas. He reigned as king over like 15 little kids and if they did anything he didn't like, he'd just bite them. He is pretty fierce. I want to believe that he is slowly growing out of this. He is biting less and less each week. He now usually only draws blood when he feels physically threatened. His fight or flight comes out and let me just say - this kid has a lot of fight. But unlike many of the other little boys - he feels remorse when he has done something wrong. I love that about him. Disciplining him is rather easy. You put him in time-out for 30 seconds while explaining that he can't hurt other children and he immediately starts crying and saying he's sorry. I'll never forget the super cold morning when I lost him before pre-school. I had my other 3 pre-schoolers inside but where was Oziel? It was time to get in the van to go to school and he was hiding from me because I had scolded him about something. I finally found him behind all the buildings singing his favorite song - a worship song - Eres Todopoderoso - about how powerful God is.... I about died from laughter and I sang it with him. What child gets mad at you, hides, and sits there singing worship songs??! Oh probably the same 4 year old who is asked before every meal to give the prayer and have the rest of the orphanage repeat after him because his voice is soooooooo loud and hilarious. Yeah that's you.



Oziel you own my heart. You straight up stole it from me when I wasn't looking. But that's okay. I'll let you keep it.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Alex

God has moved in mighty ways in the past year in Alex's favor. First, he got new full time caregivers who love him. He actually got a birth certificate FINALLY. We found out when his real birthday is and how old he really is once the government finally produced some documents for the orphan without a birthday. Last summer, I used to just try and guess his age and what behavior standards I should be expecting from him. My guess was that he was around 4 or 5 years old. Well he actually turns 5 in October. As a result of finally obtaining a birth certificate - he was able to move up a year in school and be with kids his actual age. He can now legally enter kindergarten and doesn't have to go to pre-school with 3 year olds AGAIN for a 3rd year in a row. He knows all his colors, numbers and is very good at counting. And for the first time in 2 years - he now has contact and visits from his biological family members. I praise God for all he is doing to change Alex's life.

Last summer, Alex and Marcos were enemies and fought constantly. I think Marcos was really trying to get Alex to like him but every attempt Marcos ever made only annoyed Alex further. But something clicked and now they are best friends and I call them "double trouble." They love to play dress up and pretend to be superheroes - Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Ironman - they think all of those people all day long. Alex loves to put on costumes. If I put him in normal play clothes, he will always change out of them and into something silly whether I like it or not.

Alex used to have problems with hoarding things. Whenever a toy was introduced to him or his dorm, he would try his best to hide it immediately for later use. I used to catch him trying to hide toys inside the couch in his dorm. He'd try to put so many things in his personal drawer that you couldn't close it. The things he used to steal from his pre-school last year were hilarious to me. His backpack was always really heavy and full of playdoh or legos which I would later realize that he had stolen. A solid year later though, Alex understands that no one will steal his toys and that it's okay to share and trust others. And we refuse to send him to school with a backpack anymore which is probably better.


Alex now loves to sit and listen to stories. Some of his favorites are Eric Carle's The Very Busy Spider, Eric Carle's From Head to Toe, There was an Old Monster and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.

Alex you are a funny little man. In the past year alone, I've pulled gum out of your hair at least 10 times. You are very lucky to have big brothers who love you very much. This October will be the first time anyone has ever celebrated your real birthday. I'm pretty sure that it'll be the biggest birthday party any 5 year old at Douglas has ever seen. So get ready. Perhaps we could make a life-sized Spiderman for you out of playdoh?

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Marcos

Marcos. The name in itself carries a lot of meaning for me. A year ago today, just hearing his name could make me cringe because of how difficult he was to care for. He was constantly screaming and crying at the top of his lungs, afraid that he was being abandoned again anytime I left the room or his line of vision. Try to imagine a 4 year old who never stops screaming and crying and chasing you around.... yeah that was him.

But a solid year later - Marcos is calmer and actually a fun little guy. He has a lot of energy, loves playing dress up, doing puzzles, reading books, playing with playdoh, swimming in the pool, coloring pictures and riding bikes. This was his first ever year of pre-school. He has very nice handwriting and actually enjoys doing his homework whenever he is assigned some.

Marcos was the carrot during his pre-school's food and nations festival


My best attempt to prevent a scar from forming on his forehead... he later placed this bandaid behind a toilet in his dorm only to be found by me literally 3 weeks later. He had done a really good job hiding it on the wall.

Playing hide and seek at McDonalds. This was right before he and Alex decided to go "looking" for me in the McDonalds DRIVE THRU!!! I started looking for them and they had run downstairs and were literally outside running through the drive thru - I about had a heart attack but then forced myself to laugh about it.

Aside from everything about Marcos' behavior changing completely - the other biggest change I've noticed in Marcos involves bedtime. Bedtime used to be awful for us all. The 14 boys wouldn’t get into their beds, if I could them there, they wouldn’t stay still, and they wouldn’t stop talking. These days though, Marcos for example loves our new bedtime routine. The 4 pre-school aged boys and I read a few books, brush our teeth, go to the potty and I tuck each one of them in individually into their beds. I pray over Marcos and ask God to protect him from bad dreams and we thank God for making Marcos perfectly – how special, kind, beautiful and intelligent he is. I tell Marcos that my favorite day of the week is the day that I get to take care of him all day – it’s the honest truth. I love being with his dorm full of crazy emotionally hurting little boys. I tell him that I love him and I kiss his forehead about 20 times. He smiles and you can literally see through his eyes, his little heart just melting at the thought that someone actually wants him. I actually like him. I recently learned about the science of mirror imaging. Apparently, when I look into one of these child's eyes and we are face to face - they can sense my mood or emotions. We can send fear, empathy, playfulness or love to a little child’s brain. When I tuck Marcos in and tell him how much I love him and love being with him – his brain literally can pick up the love in my heart for him. That’s why he just melts and goes right to sleep. No fighting at bedtime. They go to sleep within minutes, each child, one at a time. It’s incredible.

Marcos, I love you little man. You need to grow up knowing a Mommy and a Daddy. Psalm 68:5-6 say, "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing." I pray that God gives you a family and a home.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Jose

For being the smallest 7 year old on planet earth, Jose packs in more personality than anyone I know. He likes to bounce off the walls, climb up to the ceiling, jump on the beds, wrestle with everyone, rollerblade even though he falls constantly, collect bugs outside and then release them inside the dorm, hide from me during important transitions throughout the day, yell like he's a ballgame announcer even when i've asked him to please use an inside voice.... speaking of his voice - Jose's voice is my favorite on planet earth. He sounds like a tiny little grandpa man who swallowed a couple of frogs. He is super silly, loves to snuggle, thinks the movie Robots is God's greatest gift to man, loves to paint, and thinks it's funny to knock over his littlest brother randomly.
This is my favorite picture of Jose. It was taken during his graduation from kindergarten last summer.

He is so adorable and should have been a child model - of course BEFORE he smashed into some walls in his dorm while playing too hard for the 2nd time this year and got his 2nd round of stitches to his forehead which have now left a pretty incredible scar. Now he looks more like a pirate to me than anything else.
He is probably a good 6 inches to a foot shorter than all the rest of the kids in his 1st grade class at school but what he lacks in size he makes up for with his incredible punch.... yes literal punch. He can give a kid a nose bleed with one hit. I shouldn't be bragging about that and it makes me furious when they fight - which always seems to happen literally at the dinner table in front of the entire orphanage - but you gotta give a little guy credit for his strengths.


Academically, Jose struggles. He behaves well, does what you ask him to do, and gets compliments from his teacher daily about how incredible his handwriting is but something just hasn't clicked yet for him as far as reading goes. We know that he is super intelligent. But I pray that emotionally and psychologically something heals so he can move on and learn to read. Pray for Jose. I know he's smart, he just isn't ready to show that off yet.

The biggest change that I've seen in Jose in the past year is his ability to put himself to sleep at night. He now sleeps in his own bed for the first time in his life. His fears are being calmed and I praise the Lord for that. I praise God for the ways that Jose now feels more secure, loved, protected and alright. Jose was the first child to start calling his new dorm parents, "ma" and "pa" for mom and dad. He loves them and honestly feels like they are his parents. I am so unbelievably thankful for them and the ways that they have connected with so many of these boys. Jose deserves people like them in his life.

Jose you are a beautiful child. I am so thankful for all the things God has taught you this past year about who He is and how you can trust in Him. God will never leave you to be alone in this world. And besides... your 2nd favorite person on Earth (2nd to his mom) is moving here in September. Sammy - the boys are more than pumped and continue to pray for you each week as you raise support to move here.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Isai and Kevin

Isai in the middle with his beloved glow n the dark PJ's
A lot has happened in the last year for Isai. Academically, he went from not knowing the alphabet or any numbers to doing addition, subtraction, and reading short words. After months of tutoring and frustration, something clicked. You could physically see a lightbulb go off around his little brain once things started to make sense to him. His confidence soared. I'll never forget afternoons which would turn into cold evenings when he'd finally finish his homework and we'd all scream and cheer and throw him in the air to celebrate - the look on his face of accomplishment was priceless. In moments like that, his adorable little dimples really shine. Isai is a calm, sensitive, helpful, quiet and polite little man. He knew how to just melt my heart to the core. He'd come home from school, see me, throw his back pack on the floor and walk by saying, "Caroline... I just love you so much." Isai was always the first to ask me, "Caroline can I help you with that?" He spent a few weeks this winter with a cast on his arm after a little accident on the trampoline that Douglas eventually got rid of due to safety issues. Bath time was an adventure and so was trying to get a long sleeve shirt over the big fat cast. I was getting him ready for bed the night they called him to office to tell him that he was going to leave forever to live with a family. As it turns out, this beautiful child is now living with a Christian foster family of sorts here in Monterrey. I'm thrilled for him and have met his foster parents. I often ask myself, "what is the best option for this child?" I honestly believe that Isai is living it out right now and I could not be more thankful to God for orchestrating it all.

Kevin (center)
No more than a month later, a new boy, Kevin, was dropped off at Douglas and literally took Isai's old bed. Kevin is super loud, smiles all the time, always wears a pair of white air Jordans, smart, and affectionate.
Kevin's first adventure in a pool and first trip to Back2Back

Me shaving Kevin's hair with my new clippers

I find it super interesting to see how new children interact with the others in their first hours, days, weeks, months. All the other boys were super welcoming to Kevin. All except for Israel who did not appreciate the way that Kevin challenged Israel's status as lawyer/rule enforcer/boss of the little boys' dorm. But I wasn't surprised by that in the least. It's strange to see one child leave and another come and sometimes all in the same day. That's just how things work in an orphanage I guess. I love when children get to leave after their parental guardian has had time to get their life in order but I absolutely hate seeing new ones get dropped off. My entire being gets angry at everything. But I can remind myself that at least Douglas is literally a world better and totally different than it was years ago. Kevin at least landed somewhere that he is loved, appreciated, valued and cared for and I pray that Kevin and the rest of them are only at Douglas temporarily.

Luis


If the little boys dorm at Douglas was a fraternity house, Luis would without a doubt be the social chair. He is almost always the ring leader of something fun, crazy, messy, and rowdy. If things start to get boring, Luis likes to 'spice' it up. He'll be the one climbing trees, daring smaller children to do something dangerous that he thinks is silly, organizing a game of cards, or rollerblading through the bathroom. Prime example - Luis is the child on the cover of the most recent Back2Back magazine and what is he doing? Having fun and starting a water fight. What I love about Luis though, is through all his playing, no matter what he has organized, he isn't trying to be mischievous or break any rules. He just loves to play. I have to say as well that after all my time working in an orphanage, it's not everyday that you find a kid who has learned how to entertain himself or that still bothers to try to come up with fun things to do but Luis does this with excellence which I think is worth celebrating.

just another afternoon catching frogs
He is obviously a handsome little guy. If the little boys dorm had their own end of the year superlatives, Luis would win, "best dressed" because he always insists on wearing Sunday dress pants and button down collared shirts, dress shoes, a belt - the hole nine yards - like literally everyday. Just last night for example, after his shower, he wanted me to affirm for him that the dress shirt he had chosen not only fit him appropriately but that it was the best looking one for him to wear to school the next day.

The mohawk I gave Luis a few weeks ago right before his
teacher from school made me "fix" it

He has a gift for making me laugh and loves to joke around. In the past 12 months, I think the biggest change that I've seen in Luis is his love for math. Verbally, this child struggles and has not always been cooperative at school. But numbers are a language he speaks and he speaks it well. It's as if I'm rewarding the child if I give him a page full of addition and subtraction problems to do. He loves math.

Luis does not currently have a Shelter Child Sponsorship family. If you'd be interested in finding out more about this program, the impact it's making at Casa Hogar Douglas, or about how to go about sponsoring a particular child, please contact our home office 513.754.0300

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Israel

Admittedly I've been very hard on Israel this past year. He is the oldest of 4 brothers. He is the smartest child from the little boys dorm. He usually gets first place for best grades out of his entire 2nd grade at school. He is capable of a lot. It took me a few months to realize how much I was demanding of him - to be the most respectful, to be helpful with his brothers, to be an example in his attitude, to do his chores, to excel in school, and to behave well. Things that I would let others his age get away with would drive me nuts with Israel and I have always been sure to let him know that. Maybe that's "normal" for parents to expect a little more out of the oldest child? Well, once this was brought to my attention, I started to ease up on the sweet boy and to be extremely purposeful about connecting with him and being playful with him. Honestly, I know it's helped a lot. He so desperately seeks my approval, attention and affection. If he can't earn it through good behavior, he tries to demand it through bad behavior. He's not stupid - none of these boys are. I am fully aware of how much I love Israel and his sibling set but none of that matters if he can't feel it and hear it daily. This sweet child has been through so much and carried burdens that no child should ever be asked to carry. He's a little boy - someone should be carrying him.


right before they attacked me with their noise maker sticks

feeding some zebras
right before he lost his first tooth

Israel - I am so proud of you. I am so proud of how responsible you are and how you almost always take everything like a man. This life hasn't dealt you any easy cards but you keep on making lemonade out of all those lemons. I'm confident that many crowns await you in heaven for the way you have literally carried your youngest brother and comforted him at all hours of the day. I pray that God will keep placing people in your life to father you and carry your burdens. You are a gifted child and although some of us adults make fun of the way you take charge of every situation by calling you "everyone's lawyer," that's just how God made you. You'd make an incredible lawyer someday or CEO of a big company. In the meantime, I greatly appreciate how you are the ONLY child who doesn't "accidentally" send text messages from my phone to random B2B staffers when I let you boys borrow my cell phone after bath time to play the pinball game. I love you with my entire being.